


The More Things Stay the Same

by spontaneoussquirrel17



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, M/M, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-14 15:33:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18950944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spontaneoussquirrel17/pseuds/spontaneoussquirrel17
Summary: Steve wants to save everybody all the time.  He can't.





	The More Things Stay the Same

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this when I was having a rough day and needed to process some things. Not beta'd. Critiques welcome.

"Steve. _Steve._ " Bucky pinned Steve against the brick wall in the back of the alleyway with his metal arm. Steve struggled against him. They were both covered in ash and soot. The air was thick with smoke from the apartment building burning down across the street. Sirens and shouts filled their ears.

"Let me go- I've got to- I can help them-" Steve clawed at Bucky's arm and tried to kick at him. Bucky was leaning so that his knees and feet would be too far away for Steve to successfully make contact.

"No, you can't," Bucky said forcefully. He had to use both arms now to hold Steve against the bricks.

"But they're gonna die!" Steve screamed. He struggled harder, trying to push Bucky's arms away.

"And so are you, if you run into a burning building. Look at me, Steve." Steve looked into Bucky's serious, dark blue eyes. "You're not fire proof. You can't save them all."

"I could still try." Steve's voice was filled with pain. He was crying now, but he was also no longer fighting. "Please, Bucky, let me try. I have to."

"You know I can't do that, Steve. The world can't lose Captain America to an apartment fire. I can't lose you." Bucky let his emotion show through just enough to let Steve know he was serious. Anything more would just make this harder for both of them. It was a familiar song and dance. Steve had always been like this.

Steve began to cry in earnest- the huge, wracking, full-body sobs of a man who knows that the entire universe is against him. Bucky released him, knowing that Steve understood that he was beaten. Steve slumped down against the bricks with his head in his hands. Bucky took a step towards him and pulled him close, entwining his human fingers in Steve's hair and wrapping his metal arm diagonally across Steve's back. Steve buried his face in Bucky's shoulder.

They stayed like this until Steve ran out of tears. When the only sounds were those of the fire trucks and bystanders, Bucky spoke. "You did good, pal. You helped raise the alarm. You helped save some lives." Steve sniffed but didn't respond. "You know this is why I love you, right?" Steve looked up to see Bucky looking down at him fondly. Steve looked startled and vulnerable. His clear blue eyes were red from crying. His nose was red, too. His lips were slightly parted. Bucky wanted to kiss them, but he knew he had to finish telling Steve what he needed to hear first.

"You care too much, Stevie. It's gonna be your fatal flaw, like in those Greek tragedies. But until you go down in that blaze of glory, you're gonna keep caring about everything until it hurts. You're gonna care, and you're gonna hurt, and you're gonna want to make everything better. And you can't. But you're gonna keep trying anyway. You're gonna hurt yourself and others in the process, but you're never gonna back down." Bucky paused and took a deep breath, still looking at Steve.

"And I love that about you. I've loved that about you since I first saw you gettin' beat up. You care so fuckin' much, Stevie, it's beautiful and terrifying. It makes people wanna be better. So- so keep caring, Stevie. You gotta keep being you, even when it's hard like this. And I gotta keep being me and protecting your ass. 'Till the end of the line, pal, ok? We're gonna go down in that blaze of glory together. You hear me? Together. But you gotta keep caring, ok? You care enough for the both of us, and I'll make sure you're ok. I promise."

Steve pulled himself upright- not to his full height, but to a slouchy approximation. He still looked miserable, but there was a trace of resolution on his face now. He nodded at Bucky. "Ok," he managed. His voice cracked, hoarse and raw from smoke inhalation and screaming.

"That's the spirit pal. You got this. Now let's head home. Get you cleaned up." Bucky kept his arm around Steve, supporting him as they walked. 90 years had passed since Bucky had first found Steve in an alleyway- this alleyway, in fact- fists up and blood spurting from his nose. From that day on Steve never stopped caring about others, and Bucky never stopped caring about Steve. The more things change, Bucky thought wryly. Fuckin' punk.


End file.
